Below are the 8 most recent journal entries recorded in carlo's LiveJournal:

Friday, January 18th, 2002
7:18 pm	i wasn't meant for these times hmph...i still don't really understand this whole thing. you write down the minutiae (is that how you spell it?)of your day, you post it, then you hope people read it? if what you were thinking was important, you would tell a friend...and if it wasnt important, then why would you write down and post it if it's not important in the first place? why do i question so much. and if what i am saying is true, why am i even writing it down here and posting it. gotta love irony. i figure the only people who would read this anyways would be katie or em, so i bid good evening to the both of you. i suppose that in the spirit of this medium, i will jot down a couple of things that have been going on with me. i moved back home. why? i have no idea. i must get out of here. i know no one. my house is permanantly kept at 50 degrees. i'll be out of here soon enough though. i rented three movies today. just watched the spanish prisoner. badass! everything novacaine wanted to be, but failed at. other than that, im in my own world. its kinda nice. i dont really have to talk to people other than my family. i just read and write alot. i do miss my friends though. its all for the best though. alright, enough of this. god knows i maybe on this thing again later out of boredom. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
7:12 pm	wow, im still on this (Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 5th, 2000
7:38 am	the college blues...sorta so its 7:30am and im watching the world light up from my cold dungeon underneath the house at 2817 39th St. i've been up all night...im on some sort of adrenaline rush that im afraid will escape me soon. As for the status of my paper, 60% done. Its weird, i actually find myself caring about this paper and i want to make it good. this is the first time that has happened in a while...hmm, maybe im not that big of a slacker after all. well, im off to write my paper, this week sucks, but oh well, such is life Current Mood: tired Current Music: death in vegas: contino sessions (Comment on this)
Saturday, November 18th, 2000
6:10 am	today was one of those days where i woke up and i already felt a little bit off-center...where my stride was never in rhythm and my stomach had a constant nervous feeling. it was one of those nervous holes in body that you feel compelled to fill, whether with cigarettes or consumerism or food--but nothing works. its the anxiety i get when i dont have a cigarette, yet ive been smoking all day. hmm...lindsey went off to boston today. correlation? i hope not. went to another party tonite...after about half an hour, i had to escape. i can't deal with it anymore...its time for a change. im getting ancy for another big move in my life. cant stop while im young... Current Mood: discontent Current Music: yume bitsu-pinback-paul newman (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, November 16th, 2000
5:00 pm	is this a dream job or am i just permanantly bored... so, im at work. about 60 percent of my time is spent surfing the web or reading magazines. sure, sometimes i get to do stuff, even fun stuff. but generally i sit around. should i worry about this? i get paid well to sit on mah lil keester and hang out. (fun fact of the day: one of my co-workers is married to the drummer from velocity girl.) i dont mind sitting around, i just feel bad for taking their money. oh well, they havent said anything and neither will i. so, i guess its back to online trivial pursuit for me. Current Mood: frustrated Current Music: yeah, i wish i had some music (Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 15th, 2000
3:21 am	oh, where to begin on a day like this... umm, list form first: -went to the supreme court -got a kick-ass free lunch at the library of congress (i'm name dropping because i never get to go to these places) -the sun came out -found out i had all this work due, got stressed -went to class found out it wasnt due, stress relieved -found out x-girlfriend has a boyfriend, who, subsequently, is currently in jail-- the boyfriend, not the x -brought assorted treats to lindsey, while she writes her paper theres so much i want to write about--then again, theres so much i dont want to write about. Right now, im even questioning myself as to why i want to write personal things and put it out on the web. oh well, fuck it, might as well write it down. so em (x) and i went out last summer...who am i writing this to...comeplete strangers? argh...anyways, i'll just write. so em (x) and i went out last summer for seven weeks. it was a fucking lovely seven weeks. now, to most other relationships in other peoples lives, seven weeks is nothing...but to me, it was a time i'll cherish for a long time. but as fate would have it, at the end of the seven weeks, we would find ourselves 3000 miles apart, with her on the west coast and i on the east. so with forethought, we broke up at the end of the summer, rather than risking what a long distance thing could do to us. and now, being three months removed, it was a good fucking idea. i didnt always think it was a good idea. it took me about seven weeks to get over the seven weeks we spent. it basically came down to the issue that theres nothing we can do about it, get over it. so i did. one of things that helped was the fact that our conversations were generally horrible. sure, we chatted alot at first, then less and less as the weeks went by...and as more time grew between us there would be this "thing" that hung in the air that neither of us was willing to talk about, which led to unspoken uncomfortableness. its like two people talking in a room with a 700lb gorilla in the corner and neither of them would even acknowledge it. but today: breakthough! and we're both better people for it. I found out shes seeing the aforementioned dude (whos briefly incarecerated--im not talking about a lifer here, hes in for a day i think) and she found out im dating a wonderful girl named lindsey. plus, we're both happy for each other. things make since again and i feel relieved. oh, sidenote: i found out em has a boyfriend via reading her "livejournal"- talk about 21st century. so, things are well in swellsville. Current Mood: good Current Music: mogwai--mogwai young team (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, November 13th, 2000
1:16 pm	there is always more to sleeping than just sleep i just woke up and im still not sure if im really conscious. the worst part about just waking up (besides the fact that you're not sleeping anymore) is trying to discern wheter or not the phone actually rang in reality or just in your sleep. did i really just hang up on my landlord's wife or not...im not sure. this has happened to me before. one time this girl slept over at my place and the next morning i half-woke up and noticed she was getting dressed. i sleepily asked: "where are you going?" she said: "i'm walking up to the bus stop to go to work." "Do you want me to walk you up there," I offered. "Only if you want to," she said in that hopeful voice. "Nah, not really." with that, i rolled over and went back to bed. i woke up later that day not realizing i had said that to her. When i was eating dinner that night, it hit me that i had actually said that to her. I immediatly lunged for the phone and begged her forgiveness. oh, on a tangential note to the topic at hand: sleeping with somebody else in the bed is one of the more lively things in this world. sharing blankets, pillows, warmth, and kisses, while the two of you drift asleep is simply a beautiful thing. though, when that person is not in bed with you anymore, you've never felt more alone. your bed feels like a barren wasteland and you're curled-up and alone It makes you wonder if it was really worth it to start sleeping together in the first place. but, you always think back, to when you woke up in the mornings and that person was still right next to you, their hand clutching your hand and you smiled and felt safe. thinking back, you know it was worth it. Current Mood: blah Current Music: godspeed you black emperor!-skinny hands... (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, November 12th, 2000
5:45 pm	hi, does this work? (1 Comment |Comment on this)